Balance and being whole. Balance is more than just balancing events and emotions within our lives. Balance is about finding the balance of our feminine and masculine. The balance of energies. Until we reach that point we search for that balance outside of our Self. Although we are complete as we are, we may be suppressing aspects of our Self.
I’m not talking males and females but those aspects of the masculine and feminine within.
Let’s use an example. If we are denying our Self of our masculine aspects, we will seek that in another. Is that why some women (or men) wind up drawing controlling, dominating relationships into their lives? To balance out their nurturing, gentle side? And in doing so, fulfilling the suppressed feminine side of the other as well? This isn’t balance, or love, this is co-dependency.
Love will be found within the balance of Self.
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on Jan 27th, 2008 at 6:14 am
I think, anyone will benefit from finding balance. If I am not balanced, I losse energy be being restless when I should rest, by being angry, when I should understand… There are many negative aspects of being unbalanced.
To dominate a relationship could mean, that the dominating person finds a balance. This might mean too, that the dominator has a blind spot in his soul, that he/she doesn’t see his/her own powerlessness, his/her own fears and the longtime effects feeling superior.
You chose a accurate picture for the topic
on Jan 27th, 2008 at 8:31 pm
Perfect picture to support the post!!
Yes, balancing within is vital. Appreciate the aspect of feminine-masculine balancing portrayed very well.
on Jan 28th, 2008 at 10:57 am
Dear Tania,
Here are my thoughts about treating self-balance in terms of femininity and masculinity.
It’s not clear to me what characteristics constitute male and female traits. To speak of balancing our feminine and masculine aspects implies that we can divide traits into one or the other gender.
Does this suggest that if I have compassion and sympathy for another or nurturing and gentle behavior that this is by definition a feminine behavior? Or if you yourself, Tania, exercise assertiveness or aggression or controlling or dominating behavior that this is by definition your masculine side? I don’t find this categorization to be an acceptable attribution to either the feminine or masculine side.
I feel that the gradations from sensitivity to insensitivity lie within the individual regardless of the idea of feminine or masculine attributes, and that the degree of influence of each of the many traits of a person is determined by circumstances of birth (healthy or sick physical condition, infant nurturing), child-youth-adult surroundings and interactions, economic and social competitions, and spiritual and emotional interactions on an individual-to-individual basis, regardless of the gender of each.
But in the end, given all these variables that buffet us to and fro, the problem is to find the certain stability within ourselves that you call balance so that we can find peace, …to live in peace with ourselves. (Is this correct, is self-peace the goal, or else for what other purpose is “balance” to serve?)
So then we come to the point that “Balance is about finding the balance of our feminine and masculine.” I think that “balance” is about coping with individual and circumstantial events and conditions, and is essentially changing all the time. Although, as you state, “we are complete as we are…”, our balance between sensitivity and insensitivity with regard to each of our behavior traits changes continually.
Unless a person is as completely isolated as a blind and deaf hermit, and is unable to detect any changes in weather from calm to dangerous, or threats to his/her existence from man or animal, the person must adjust the level of sensitivity/insensitivity to the situation at hand in order to maintain the balance needed to satisfy the requirement of peace for the soul.
A person has varying levels of tolerance/outrage, admiration/disdain, attraction/repulsion, acceptance/rejection, sympathy/criticism, nurturing/disinterest, love/not-love. These quantities vary with the circumstance, which indeed lies outside us and our behavior is subject to their influence on our feelings. The only way I see to maintain an internal “balance” in our soul is to not let things affect us, to just ignore them so that we ourselves can maintain our “inner peace”.
Life goes on, and as nice as it would be to be able to establish a balance within our spirit that stays put, we have to interact with our surroundings. You say that “Balance is more than just balancing events and emotions within our lives. Balance is about finding the balance of our feminine and masculine. The balance of energies. Until we reach that point we search for that balance outside of our Self. Although we are complete as we are, we may be suppressing aspects of our Self.” I wish I could figure out how to accept your bottom line that “Balance is about finding the balance of our feminine and masculine” in terms that have meaning for me.
With love,
Emil