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You who never arrived
in my arms, Beloved, who were lost
from the start,
I don’t even know what songs
would please you. I have given up trying
to recognize you in the surging wave of the next
moment. All the immense
images in me- the far-off, deeply-felt landscape,
cities, towers, and bridges, and unsuspected
turns in the path,
and those powerful lands that were once
pulsing with the life of the gods-
all rise within me to mean
you, who forever elude me.You, Beloved, who are all
the gardens I have ever gazed at,
longing. An open window
in a country house-, and you almost
stepped out, pensive, to meet me.
Streets that I chanced upon,-
you had just walked down them and vanished.
And sometimes, in a shop, the mirrors
were still dizzy with your presence and, startled,
gave back my too-sudden image. Who knows?
perhaps the same bird echoed through both of us
yesterday, seperate, in the evening…Rainer Maria Rikle (Translated by Stephen Mitchell)
4 Responses to You who never arrived
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This poem makes me sad. Five years ago, my 25 year marriage ended in divorce. In that marriage, I was like the man in this poem, the one that was unknowable to his partner. I never let her in to the deepest parts of my thoughts and feelings. Some of it was because she was not a very accepting person, making it hard for me to be open. But most of it was because of my own issues… insecurities, fear of rejection, and a lot of codependent shit.
I have learned how to be open about my thoughts and feelings. I’m grateful for that. I have done a lot of personal work and have figured out a lot about myself. I feel much closer to my new partner than I ever felt with my first wife. But we somehow never gave each other the chance.
Oh how the Mirror rings so true Tania with such truth !!!
Such truth and conviction in your writing.
Dear tania, Rilke has found so wonderful words for so many lovely dreams, it is always inspiring to read him. Thank you for inspiring me to the following 11 words.
Unbekannte
Liebe meines
Lebens ist Dein Herz
Einsam wie meine suchende
Seele
Unknown
Greatest Love
Is your Heart
Lonely like my searching
Soul