Be Impeccable With Your Word

Don’t Take Anything Personally

Don’t Make Assumptions

Always Do Your Best

These are the four agreements as written about in the book by Don Miguel Ruiz. I have never read the book but because I believe so strongly in synchronistic events (3 times has meaning), I will share my thoughts about the four agreements.

Why haven’t I read the book? I’ve picked it up numerous times. Thumbed through it. Sounds like I’m being told what to do. That doesn’t work for me. Maybe the timing wasn’t right, but here it is in my face again. I’ve been bombarded with these sayings over and over again, from so many different directions.

I do live my life this way. Maybe not what is described in the book, I don’t know because I haven’t read it. But the statements are strong. Very strong. Very courageous. Empowering.

For me, the four agreements, or statements, are all kind of Buddhist in nature. Just let life flow. Mindfulness. Be aware of the present moment. Isn’t that all we really have? Past is gone, future may never be.

Be Impeccable With Your Word.

Let’s admit it, we are all human. Our tendency is to re-act (to play back a situation, to take action). Let’s learn to step back, pause, breath… and take our time before speaking. Speak from the heart, not from emotion. Maybe this needs a little clarification. The heart is who we are, our higher self. Emotion is the ego screaming…”Listen to me!!!”. Before I speak, I go over it in my head, write it down if I need to, and ponder the question “Is this from a place of love? What would love say?” Take the time. Let love speak. And again by love I mean; our authentic self, our light shining outward (and whatever works… Spirit, Creator, God, Universe).

Don’t Take Anything Personally.

We are all individuals. Just as snowflakes, none of us are the same. At any given moment we are different from the moment we were before. Everyone has the right to be who they are, at any given moment. What we feel one moment may not be our “truth” the next. We are in a different space. Every moment we are different. The best we can do is to be ourselves. To be impeccable in our word, in the moment. This is not to say we are not responsible for our actions. Our actions will cause reactions or responses in others. This is the “butterfly principle” or “the ripple effect”. Everything we do or say or think is energy and shifts energy elsewhere. So when someone responds.. .step back, breath, think about your words… and then respond, not react. Don’t take it personally, let the other person be who they are.

Don’t Make Assumptions.

Because each one of these builds on the other, I think it’s getting easier to share my feelings on each. Assumptions or expectations are the fast-track to disappointment. We are individuals, right? To assume that someone else will react or respond in a certain way that pleases us… is like walking into a sandtrap. We find ourself sinking slowly into into the abyss. Let go. Enjoy the moment.

“As soon as we attempt to label or define (change or control) something, we take away from the beauty and mystery that first attracted us.”

Always Do Your Best.

That’s really all we have to strive for… to be our best. We don’t have to be better than anyone else. Remember the snowflake? We are all part of the whole. Whatever, whoever we are, adds to the whole. If we think about the other previous three “agreements”, this one falls into place. Let go of judgment about yourself. We are all human. Forgive yourself. Do your best in the present moment.

And….

Here’s my Fifth Agreement…

Always Be True To Yourself.

We live in society, community, so we do have personal responsibilities. But, the most important thing is to be true to yourself. If you are not true to yourself, no one else will be either. Stand proud and walk your path. If you are not hurting yourself or anyone else… being true to yourself and walking your path is freedom. Isn’t that what life is about?

New Year’s resolutions don’t work.

According to statistics, 62% of Americans set New Year’s resolutions. Only 8% of those resolutions are successfully achieved. Wow! Not very good odds.

Sure we all hope for a better financial position, to lose some extra weight, improve our self, a better relationship, to let go of unhealthy habits such as alcohol, drugs or cigarettes, to exercise more or to eat healthier. Yet we don’t stick with our best intentions, so carefully planted in the fertile ground of the New Year.

resolve: to fix or settle on by deliberate choice and will; determine (to do something).

Maybe that is the problem, we are striving to “fix” something about our self… old habits, things we don’t care for about ourselves. Should’s and have to’s don’t work, they are coming from a place of judgment.

Make this year different.

This year try choosing a theme to integrate into your life. A simple yet powerful, one word theme. Something positive and from the heart. Let it infuse everything you do and think. Look at is as a way to be rather than a thing to do.

This process will transform your life so put some thought into it. Set aside some quite, reflective time for yourself. Make a list of words that resonate with you, your deepest self, values that you would like to expand in your life. These words will have a high vibration to them, expansive and empowering.

peace, gratitude, love, health, simplicity, mindfulness, compassion, serenity, focus, abundance, detoxification, integrity, authenticity, surrender, trust, creativity, inspiration, commitment, growth, flow, service…

A couple questions that may help with the process:

• What is preventing me from “shining my light”?
• What is holding me back from sharing my gifts?
• What do I need to expand in my life to create more joy?
• What will inspire me to the next level?

Explore and add to your list until one word jumps out and grabs you. This is your theme for the year but also know that you can “correct and continue” if you wish any time during the year.

Totally integrate this theme into your life.

Your theme may feel a little uncomfortable, challenging, and something that doesn’t come naturally. Remember, this is a method to create transformation. Don’t settle, create something extraordinary with your life.

Because your theme has been chosen from your heart, it is already in alignment with your authentic self so your intention will help it flow and integrate more smoothly.

Totally immerse yourself and integrate your theme into your life, every aspect of it. Have it be part of your conversations, interactions, actions and thoughts. Let go of any expected outcomes and how it will show up in your life. Any time we create growth and allow transformation, we are in a healing process, releasing what no longer serves us; stories, patterns, habits… We may also face challenges and lessons. This is all part of becoming more whole and authentic. Remember that when your theme appears in an unexpected way. And don’t forget the gratitude for however it shows up.  Maybe love is your theme… a loved one may leave your life… that’s one way to experience a fuller understanding of love.

Your theme is a way to be, not a thing to do.

Post reminders around, create a vision board, read and explore your theme.

Don’t allow any judgment of your self to enter the picture if you “slip up” and act without being present with your theme. Just recognize it and continue on.

What one word is going to change your life?

After careful thought and reflection, my theme for 2012 is mindfulness. I will strive to be more present in everything I do. By putting mindfulness into practice, many things in my life that I wish to change should do so naturally. If I’m mindful during eating, I will eat healthier. If I’m mindful during writing, I will stay focused. To get me on track I started reading How to Train a Wild Elephant: And Other Adventures in Mindfulness. This book contains 53 chapters of simple mindful exercises to practice one per week for a year. This week I’ve been using my left hand for some writing. Talk about the need to be focused and in the present!

Leave a comment and let me know what one word is going to change your life.

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“Nothing before, nothing behind; the steps of faith fall on the seeming void and find the rock beneath” ~John Greenleaf Whittier

There is a space. A space left vacant when we change, change any part of our self. It won’t stay empty for long, as this is the portal through which the new arrives. So much is changing now, individually and collectively. We are on the threshold of what some are referring to as The New World. When we change collectively, change occurs exponentially, faster. Time gives the appearance of speeding up. Once change is initiated, either consciously or not, there is no stopping it. Energy has been put into motion.

After change, there is a period of settling in, percolating, integrating the shift in energy, much like water that has been stirred up. Beliefs and ideals that were once held as truths are being questioned and released. What no longer works or is not in alignment with who we are is being left behind. Many lives are being simplified and minimalized. A sense of lightness, wholeness, authenticity fills our being. Which brings us to the void, the space ready to be filled with the new. The more change, the bigger the void. Feelings of uncertainty, loss of direction, lack of motivation and maybe even overwhelm. Just as trees release their leaves in the fall and stand barren throughout the winter, we should use this time to rest and regroup before moving forward. Grounding, drawing our energies into building a solid foundation, like roots. When the time is right, doors will open, synchronicities and messages will guide and life will flow again.

“When you have come to the edge of all the light you have and step into the darkness of the unknown believe that one of the two will happen to you, either you’ll find something solid to stand on or you’ll be taught how to fly!” ~Richard Bach

Related Posts

• The Flow of Life
• Today I Pulled the Death Card
• How to Make the Most of the Time Between
• Change is Inevitable
• The Space Without

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Nature is amazing. One thing I have learned is that we can always go to Nature for answers and guidance. Being still and present in Nature allows inspiration to flow. Nature is healing. This is the basis of ecopsychology.

This summer I was told, “You just don’t get it.” The conversation was left at that. For the life of me I couldn’t figure out how this statement fit in with what we were talking about. But it stuck to me like an unpleasant thorn.

I wanted an answer, “What was “IT” that I didn’t get?”

While pruning a beautiful, lime green gold thread cypress into a ball shape at one of my landscaping jobs, I got my answer. I stood back and looked at this pruned shrub and realized I tamed it, forced it to “fit in”. Its beauty and spirit where changed.

“As soon as we attempt to label or define (change or control) something, we take away from the beauty and mystery that first attracted us.”

I received a text back… “You got it!!!”

This message can apply to all facets of our lives, especially to relationships and friendships. What about just appreciating the moment? Letting life be as it is. Enjoying the unfolding.

I find that many “messages” we receive from the Universe are something we already know but just need a reminder on. Or something we “know” but we haven’t experienced consciously, it isn’t our personal truth yet.

Can you recall something you “knew” but it didn’t really become ingrained in you as a personal truth until an experience made it real?

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The Art of Mindful Listening

“The first duty of love is to listen.” ~Paul Tillich

“Deep listening is miraculous for both listener and speaker. When someone receives us with open-hearted, non-judging, intensely interested listening, our spirits expand.” ~Sue Patton Thoele

Active listening is a vital skill that should be developed through practice. Most of us do not give our full attention when we are listening but are planning on what to say next or we are judging or evaluating what is being said. It is easy to be pulled into our own thoughts and lose our connection with what is actually being said or conveyed by the person speaking.

Due to all the developments in technology (internet, email, text, cell phones, media, etc.), our minds have become overstimulated. Boredom comes very easily and quickly. Our minds are have become programmed to multitask, leaving us without the ability to give full attention to anything we do. Because of human nature, we also try to control our experiences instead of just letting them flow.

To fully connect with someone, it is important to also observe their body language and to feel the emotions behind the words. If we become distracted by our own thoughts during a conversation, we are missing the subtle signs that convey the true meaning of what is being said. Be present to just listen. Don’t analyze or judge what is being said in order to offer advice but instead listen deeply and indicate that you heard. Or ask questions to take it to an even deeper level.

Following these 3 steps will help you become a more mindful listener and deepen your experiences with others:

1. Pause and take a breath before starting a conversation to create space for inner attention and promote a more relaxed state.
2. Deepen your attention.
3. Listen. Be with the experience. When we listen deeply, we become connected.

As I heard on a Zencast podcast, allow yourself to be a sacred presence.

“To listen fully means to pay close attention to what is being said beneath the words. You listen not only to the ‘music,’ but to the essence of the person speaking. You listen not only for what someone knows, but for what he or she is. Ears operate at the speed of sound, which is far slower than the speed of light the eyes take in. Generative listening is the art of developing deeper silences in yourself, so you can slow our mind’s hearing to your ears’ natural speed, and hear beneath the words to their meaning.” ~Peter Senge

Active listening is healing for the person speaking. It provides a space to openly share their inner self. Spoken words create ownership of thoughts or feelings, a validation.

Wouldn’t you like to know that when you are speaking, you are being felt on a deeper level? Take the time to concentrate and focus. Go deep, feel what is being said between the words. Be available to life.

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I’ve been at a crossroads of sorts. I haven’t been putting much effort into my blog or writing lately. It’s an easy place to find yourself. There are so many of us out there, saying the same thing, some more eloquently than others. And creeping in are the thoughts of,  “Why bother?” And that little devil on the shoulder that says, “They are better than you, what are you doing?”

We are all here living the same experiences. It’s a matter of perception and depth of experience that separate us. I read lots of personal/spiritual growth blogs and articles. They all say the same thing but some I really resonate with. What is that connection? Is it worded just right? Is the time right that I’m finally ready to hear the message? Is the writer more transparent so I feel a deeper connection? Integrity?

I have come to realize I don’t need to be perfect, only to reach for the best that I can offer. This issue has been a stumbling block for me. If it can’t be perfect; better than anyone else, I’m not going to bother (that’s a Virgo trait). I also realized that with this attitude I am not sharing my gift; my passion, or being true to myself. But more important, I’m not expressing myself in a way that might just “click” with someone, someone that resonates with my words.

We are all water drops in the ocean of life. Each one of us is part of the whole.

There wouldn’t be an ocean (or lake, river, tears, rain) if each drop withheld sharing and merging.

Please visit Live Your Legend. Scott’s writing inspired me to move past the crossroads.

Share your thoughts as a comment below.

The Butterfly

by Nikos Kazantzakis

I remember one morning when I discovered a cocoon in the back of a tree just as a butterfly was making a hole in its case and preparing to come out. I waited awhile, but it was too long appearing and I was impatient. I bent over it and breathed on it to warm it. I warmed it as quickly as I could and the miracle began to happen before my eyes, faster than life. The case opened; the butterfly started slowly crawling out, and I shall never forget my horror when I saw how its wings were folded back and crumpled; the wretched butterfly tried with its whole trembling body to unfold them. Bending over it, I tried to help it with my breath, in vain.

It needed to be hatched out patiently and the unfolding of the wings should be a gradual process in the sun. Now it was too late. My breath had forced the butterfly to appear all crumpled, before its time. It struggled desperately and, a few seconds later, died in the palm of my hand.

That little body is, I do believe, the greatest weight I have on my conscience. For I realize today that it is a mortal sin to violate the great laws of nature. We should not hurry, we should not be impatient, but we should confidently obey the eternal rhythm.

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“Those who dwell among the beauties and mysteries of the earth are never alone or weary of life.” ~Rachel Carson

I spent a lot of my time as a child mesmerized by the ways of water. Wandering a little way from our house in New Hampshire, I would find myself immersed in another world. The natural world. Walking into the woods, the mysterious shroud of the wild held me captivated for hours. A magical place teaming with life, sounds and smells. Crouching down to observe the little kingdoms of moss. If observed close enough, this moss was like a miniature forest with variations and species I’m sure were only visible to the innocence and mindfulness of a child’s vision.

“The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious.” ~Albert Einstein

There was a small brook; in retrospect it may only have existed after the spring thaws or summer downpours. I was always fascinated with the branches and dead trees that had fallen across and into the water, slowing the water enough so that leaves would get caught and pile up, creating a dam and restricting the flow. Or, the way water flowed around the moss covered rocks, creating small eddies on the backsides.

It’s still a vivid memory, the way the water changed when I removed the obstructing branch. First the leaves would get carried away, the water would turn real murky as the new flow of water stirred up the accumulated debris and sediment, clear water gradually mixing in and washing the stagnancy away. The settled muck disbursed into the water, exposing the hidden sandy bottom. Crystal clear water flowing once more.

So is life. Unhealed emotions are held within the body, some tightly. This tension creates restrictions in the energy flowing through the body. A state of dis-ease develops. The area of stress and tension also restricts the blood, oxygen, nutrients and release of toxins from the organs and glands located there. The health of the body becomes compromised. When the body is relaxed, healing on all levels is able to take place.This is similar to removing the restrictive branches from the flow of water. A period of disruption occurs before a full and clear flow of water can happen. It can appear as though things are worse than they were. Believing this can hinder or stop the healing process. Fear creates tension again. Where in reality, the hardest part is over. The first step was taken, so relax and let the new flow wash away the old. Healing is a process, not an event.

“The underlying attraction of the movement of water and sand is biological. If we look more deeply we can see it as the basis of an abstract idea linking ourselves with the limitless mechanics of the universe.” ~ Sir Geoffrey Jellicoe

It’s ironic to note that I am still playing with the flow, only now as a Reiki practitioner. These times are deeply ingrained in my memory and integral to who I am yet my parents don’t know what I am talking about.  Did I fall down a rabbit hole like Alice? Step into a parallel universe at the property line? Or is it that we create our own magic and perception of the world? We do not forget what is important to the heart and soul.

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“Those who dwell among the beauties and mysteries of the earth are never alone or weary of life.” Rachel Carson“Those who dwell among the beauties and mysteries of the earth are never alone or weary of life.” ~Rachel Carson

I’ve been spending time redesigning the Whole Living Today blog making easier to navigate. In doing so, posts from the early days have been unearthed.

Here are a few of the more popular older posts:

• The Seesaw
• An Island of Feelings
• Signposts Along the Path of Spiritual Growth
• The Voice of Solitude
• The Trusting Bud
• Be a Nut
• Wading Through Murky Waters
• Making a Choice to Tune Out Negativity
• Cultivating Joy

If you like what you see and don’t want to miss out on future posts, please subscribe to Whole Living Today’s RSS feed. Also sharing individual posts or this blog is greatly appreciated.

These are transformative moments. Something shifts deep within. Inspiration stirs. Some are synchronistic; just what was needed right then. A remembering. Typically they are what we already know but we just need to hear it again in just the right way. There is almost a feeling of intimacy between the reader and author. A validation that someone else feels the same way as us or has lived a similar experience.

I came across one of those just the other day: How To Calibrate Your Energy to the Luminous Frequency of Light by Satya Colombo on Fierce Wisdom. I experienced this exact feeling while just being in nature and connecting last fall for my ecopsychology class but I sure couldn’t put it into words like Satya has.This is an incredible meditation that I encourage everyone to try.

Another empowering and enlightening meditation is to breathe with the plants. Plants exhale oxygen that our bodies require and use the carbon dioxide that we exhale. Consciously being aware of this cycle during meditation is another beautiful way to experience our interconnectedness with all of life. And don’t forget to be grateful for these connections.

Breathe and let your light shine.